Hello, fellow minimalists. This is Mark from Minimalist Living, and today I have some shocking news to share with you. You may have heard that the European Union has passed some new legislation that would allow users to sideload third-party apps and use other browser engines on their devices. This is a great move for the consumers, as it would give them more freedom and choice over their digital lives.

But guess who is not happy about this? That’s right, Apple. The company that claims to be the champion of privacy and innovation, but is actually the worst offender of monopolistic and anti-competitive practices. Apple has responded to the EU regulations by imposing some ridiculous and unfair conditions on the developers and users who want to use alternative app stores and browsers.

First of all, you will need to get authorized by Apple to host your own app store, and pay a fee to Apple for every app you distribute. Apple will also regulate everything on the third-party stores, and will have the power to remove any app that they don’t like. This is a clear violation of the principle of minimalism, as it adds more complexity and dependency to the system.

Secondly, you will not be able to use any browser engine other than WebKit, which is the one that powers Safari. This means that you will not be able to use browsers like Mozilla Firefox, which is the best browser for minimalists, as it is open-source, fast, and respects your privacy. Apple claims that this is for security and performance reasons, but we all know that this is a lie. Apple just wants to control the web and prevent any innovation that might threaten their dominance.

This is a spit to the face of all the other browsers and developers who work hard to make the web a better place. They would need to maintain two different builds for the EU and the rest of the world, which requires a tremendous amount of work. This is a waste of time and resources, and goes against the minimalist philosophy of simplicity and efficiency.

If you remember our last blog post about the EU (Simping For The European Union: A Minimalist Guide), you know that we are big fans of the EU and their efforts to protect the consumers and the environment. We really hope that the EU does not accept this nonsense from Apple, and makes Apple their kitten and bans them from the EU. No value would be lost, as Apple is the most pathetic company in the world, and their products are overpriced, overrated, and overcomplicated.

We urge you, dear readers, to boycott Apple and their products, and switch to more minimalist alternatives, such as Android, Linux, or Windows. These platforms are more open, flexible, and customizable, and will give you more freedom and happiness in your digital life. Remember, minimalism is not about having less, but having better. And Apple is definitely not better.

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for more minimalist tips and tricks.