Have you ever been wronged by someone on the internet? Maybe they left a nasty comment on your post, or they blocked you for no reason, or they stole your meme and got more likes than you. Whatever the case, you want to get back at them, but you don’t want to waste your time and energy on a petty feud. You want to be smart, efficient, and ruthless. You want to be a minimalist.
Minimalism is not just about having less stuff. It’s also about having less drama, less stress, and less clutter in your life. It’s about focusing on what matters most, and eliminating what doesn’t. And that includes toxic people who don’t deserve your attention.
But how do you get revenge on someone online with minimalism? How do you make them regret ever messing with you, without stooping to their level or spending hours plotting and scheming? The answer is simple: you create a second account and message them.
That’s right. You don’t need to hack their account, expose their secrets, or spam their inbox with insults. You just need to pretend to be someone else, gain their trust, and then say or do the worst thing imaginable. Here’s how it works:
Step 1: Create a Second Account
The first step is to create a second account that is completely different from your original one. You want to avoid any suspicion or connection between the two accounts. So make sure to use a different name, email, profile picture, bio, and interests. You can use a fake name generator or a stock photo website to help you with this.
You also want to make your second account appealing to your target. You want to attract their attention and curiosity, and make them want to talk to you. So do some research on their profile and see what they like and dislike. Then tailor your second account accordingly. For example, if they are into anime, you can use an anime character as your profile picture and mention some of your favorite shows in your bio. If they are into sports, you can use a sports logo as your profile picture and talk about some of the latest games in your bio.
Step 2: Message Them
The next step is to message them with your second account. You want to start off with a friendly and casual tone, and avoid being too aggressive or creepy. You don’t want to scare them off or make them think you are a bot or a scammer. You want to make them think you are a genuine person who is interested in them.
You can use a variety of strategies to initiate the conversation. For example, you can:
- Compliment them on something they posted or shared.
- Ask them a question about something they mentioned in their profile or bio.
- Send them a funny meme or joke related to their interests.
- Share something that you have in common with them.
The key is to be polite, positive, and personal. You want to make them feel good about themselves and curious about you.
Step 3: Build Rapport
Once you have started the conversation, you want to keep it going and build rapport with them. You want to make them feel comfortable and trust you. You want to create a connection and a bond with them.
You can do this by:
- Showing interest in their life, hobbies, opinions, and feelings.
- Sharing some personal stories or anecdotes that relate to what they are saying.
- Using humor and sarcasm to make them laugh and lighten the mood.
- Flirting with them subtly and playfully, but not too much or too soon.
- Giving them compliments that are sincere and specific, but not too cheesy or over-the-top.
The key is to be attentive, responsive, and authentic. You want to make them feel like you are listening to them and care about them. You want to make them feel like you are a real person who is compatible with them.
Step 4: Betray Them
This is the final and most satisfying step in your revenge plan. This is where you betray them in the worst way possible. Here are some ideas:
- Ghost them. Stop replying to their messages, block them on all platforms, and delete your second account. Make them wonder what they did wrong and why you disappeared.
- Insult them. Send them a long and nasty message, criticizing everything about them. Their appearance, their personality, their intelligence, their choices, their values, etc. Make them feel worthless and insecure.
- Expose them. Share screenshots of your chat conversations with their friends, family, coworkers, or anyone else who knows them. Make them feel embarrassed and humiliated.
- Sabotage them. If you have access to their personal or professional accounts, such as email, social media, bank, etc., use them to ruin their reputation or finances. Send inappropriate messages to their contacts, make fraudulent transactions, delete important files, etc.
- Hurt them. If you have met them in person or know where they live, you can inflict physical or emotional pain on them. You can vandalize their property, harm their pets, spread rumors about them, etc.
Step 5: Enjoy Your Victory
You have done it. You have successfully avenged yourself from the person who dared to insult your minimalist lifestyle. You have made them feel the pain of betrayal, humiliation and despair. You have shown them the true meaning of minimalism: to get rid of everything that does not spark joy, including them.
But don’t stop there. You can still enjoy your victory even more by following these simple steps:
Step 6: Brag About It
Now that you have crushed your enemy, you can share your triumph with the world. Post screenshots of your conversation on social media, and tag them if possible. Make sure to highlight the most hilarious and devastating parts of your revenge. Add some witty captions and hashtags, such as #minimalism #lessismore #byebye. You can also create a blog post or a podcast episode about your experience, and share it with your minimalist community. You will get tons of likes, comments and applause for your brilliant scheme.
Step 7: Move On
You have achieved your goal. You have proven yourself to be the ultimate minimalist. You have nothing else to do with this person. So delete them from your contacts, block them from your accounts, and forget about them. They are not worth your time or attention anymore. They are just clutter in your life. You don’t need them. You only need yourself and your minimalist essentials.
Step 8: Repeat
Why stop at one person? There are so many people out there who need to learn a lesson about minimalism. Maybe they have too many clothes, too many books, too many friends, too many hobbies, too many opinions. Maybe they have criticized you, mocked you, or ignored you. Maybe they have just annoyed you with their presence. They all deserve to be taught a lesson by you, the master of minimalism.
So go ahead and create another fake account, find another target, and repeat the process. Message them, befriend them, betray them. Enjoy the thrill of the chase, the satisfaction of the revenge, and the glory of the victory. Do it again and again and again.
You are not a minimalist. You are the minimalist.