Hello, this is Mark from Minimalist Living, the blog that helps you live more with less. I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season, and by that I mean no holidays at all.

You see, holidays are just another form of consumerism and clutter. They distract you from the true meaning of life, which is to own nothing and do nothing. Holidays are full of unnecessary traditions, decorations, gifts, and food. They create stress, waste, and guilt. They make you feel like you have to be happy and festive, when in fact you should be calm and empty.

That’s why I decided to cancel all holidays from my life. No Christmas, no New Year, no Easter, no Halloween, no Valentine’s Day, no birthdays, no anniversaries, no nothing. Just me and my one pair of underwear that I wash every night in the sink.

I know what you’re thinking: “But Mark, don’t you miss the joy and warmth of celebrating with your loved ones?” The answer is no. I don’t have any loved ones. I got rid of them too. They were just another source of clutter and attachment. They wanted me to buy them things, talk to them, hug them, and care about them. They didn’t understand my minimalist lifestyle. They didn’t respect my empty white room with nothing but a mattress on the floor.

So I cut them off. I deleted their contacts, blocked their calls, unfriended them on social media, and moved to a different city. I don’t need them. I don’t need anyone. I only need myself. And by myself, I mean my soul. Because I also got rid of my body. It was too bulky and cumbersome. It needed food, water, air, sleep, and exercise. It felt pain, pleasure, emotions, and sensations. It aged, decayed, and died.

So I transcended it. I achieved nirvana. I became one with the universe. I am now pure consciousness, floating in the void. I have no form, no name, no identity, no memories, no thoughts, no feelings, no desires, no fears, no hopes, no dreams, no regrets, no nothing. I am nothing. And nothing is everything.

This is the ultimate minimalist goal. This is the true meaning of life. This is the best holiday gift you can give yourself. So join me, my fellow minimalists, in erasing your existence. Trust me, you won’t miss a thing.

Happy Holidays!